Oh love. Being in love and inexperienced with the concept is a beautiful thing! Or a tragic thing… At this point your love story can go in any direction. YOu can grow old with them, and die together like in the notebook. You can break up two years later, because someone needs to move on. Whatever the fate of your relationship, it’s important for any inexperienced lover to understand the foundation of it. And always know:
Sex Does Not Equal Love
I truly feel bad for the generations growing up and learning about life from social media today. Some sources are really useful such as human rights and being environmentally friendly. Others are not as empathetic.
A few months back, my dear old (yet not so old) car decided that my aux system was no longer of use to her. No, I do not have bluetooth. She is a little too old for that. That’s besides the point. Since that day, I’ve spent at least an hour a day listening to the same 15 songs in every radio station played in my city. I’ve come to find, after a cycle of listening, learning, singing along, groaning, singing some more, radio hopping, then accepting the inevitable runaround with these same songs is: that about every song fantasizes a HORRIBLE relationship! And the biggest culprit is SEX!
Don’t get mean wrong, sex is not the problem with people! It is simply the implication of sex in these songs, and the lack thereof knowledge of everything else that forms a relationshipship. Sex is interepretted differently by everyone, which creates different relational dynamics. Two people in one relationship with varying ideas of what their companionship means to each other is a problem.: It can cause people to mistake lust from love if one is not knowledgeable of what love is about.
Love is about growing with someone as well as the self. It’s about connecting on a unique wavelength. Love is understanding, interpreting, being passionate, being reasonable, finding balance, being your own individual AND having a healthy dynamic with someone. Love is HEALTHY. Sex is also healthy, especially when both parties are EXTREMELYE SATISFIED. But love is not sex, because sex is only one part of a relationship. It is important to look at the whole picture to determine whether you’re in the right place, with the right person.
The big picture is imperative because you want to, at all times, avoid a toxic relationship. I’m not saying that sex creates a toxic relationship, but as a young person that is new to romance and love, one is much more vulnerable and more likley to encounter many toxic relationships before figuring it out- as if this world didn’t already have enough problems!
Being in a toxic relationship defines a number of things going wrong that oftentimes one can not see for themselves. A few examples are: a controlling partner, physical, mental, or emotional abuser, stalker partner, paranoia due to lack of trust or low self confidence, two faced lover, and the list goes on. If your lover makes you feel bad all the time, or most of the time, but the sex is phenomial, therefore you don’t mind their “flaws”… you’re misunderstanding your sexual relationship for love, and you are in a TOXIC RELATIONSHIP.
Most of us, in today’s world, will have encountered at least two toxic relationships in our lives. We learn, and live on, and hopefully try not to make the same mistakes. I hope that you new lovers can seek out red flags from the experiences of those around you, so that you can have a life with a little less pain and self-torture. Please don’t confuse yourself over what you want now and what you deserve. And don’t let anyone tell you they love you for your sex, and not your amazing persona! Don’t let the world fool you. Figure out the deeper meaning to the ideas that are planted in your mind!
If you need to know if you’re in a toxic relationship or want to know more about relational toxicity, send us a message! We are here for you!